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Organizing in Time Order
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Organizing in Time and Emphatic order

Copy and paste this document into a word file, then comment on the stylistic problems in each of the following sentences based on the handout about the Do's and Don'ts of writing. Rewrite the sentences where a problem exsists.

1. If you'll allow me another moment, I would like to expand on this point.

2. Your ugly buck teeth can now be corrected more quickly and economically than was once the case.

3. This paper will demonstrate that Scott Joplin tried to imposed the forms of classical music on the raw materials of ragtime.

4. Cobalt treatment engendered remission.

5. Being happy with one's job, to my way of thinking, is a truly important ingredient of a full life.

6. Writing this comparison-contrast paper involved less drudgery than I first thought it would.

7. The morons and gangsters who opposed the death penalty ought to be exposed once and for all.

8. For most people, decreasing term insurance makes better sense than straight life.

9. Recent government funding cuts mean that you may no longer be able to feed your hungry children.

10. Thus the poem clearly shows, in my humble opinion, that Dickinson was a shrewd observer.

11. I feel that it might be said that Ernest Hemingway could be overrated as an author.

12. It is patently obvious that radicals of any sort are lunatics.

13. Assuming that you are still with me, I will continue to explain my point of view.

14. The focus of this paper will be the explanation of the pro's and con's of nuclear power.

15. The caesura in the fourth stanza of the sestina is effected by the poet's scrupulous diction.

16. Your children are drug addicts. What can you do?

17. Sitting here, crouched before my typewriter, I wonder how to begin this theme.

18. A Shakespearean sonnet is, I think, easier to write than a Petrarchan.

19. This novel, in my mind, is a very important work of fiction, and I'm sure you will agree.

20. Only tyrants and fascist oppressors could support this new law.


These problems especially come up when you are trying to write a thesis statment. If you are looking for more practice and suggestions, click on the link below to go to another exercise.

Thesis Statements