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Re-write it Right

Choosing the right word for the topic, purpose, audience and voice is very important--Remember that it doesn't matter if the words "sound" intelligent, if your reader can't understand them!

1.                  Scintillate, scintillate, asteroid minifis.

1.         Twinkle, Twinkle little star

 

2.                  Members of an avian species of identical plumage congregate.

2.        Birds of a feather flock together.

  

3.                  Surveillance should precede saltation.

3.         Look before you leap.

 

4.                  It is fruitless to become lachrymose over precipitously departed lacteal fluid.

4.         You can't cry over spilled milk.

 

5.                  Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity.

5.         Beauty is only skin deep.

 

6.                  Freedom from encrustation of grime is contiguous to rectitude.

6.         Cleanliness is next to godliness.

  

7.                  The stylus is more potent than the rapier.

7.         The pen is mightier than the sword.

 

8.                  It is fruitless to attempt to indoctrinate a super-annuated canine with innovative maneuvers.

8.         You can't teach an old dog new tricks.

  

9.                  Eschew the implement of correction and vitiate the scion.

9.         Spare the rod; spoil the child.

 

10.              The temperature of the aqueous content of an unremittingly ogled saucepan does not reach 210 degrees Fahrenheit (at sea level).

10,       A watched pot never boils.

  

11.              All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly auriferous.

11.       All that glitters is not gold.

 

12.              Where there are visible vapors of ignited carbonous materials, there is conflagration.

12.       Where there is smoke, there's fire.

  

13.              Sorting on the part of the mendicant must be interdicted.

13.       Beggars can't be choosers.

 

14.              A plethora of individuals with expertise in culinary techniques vitiate the potable concoction produced by steeping certain comestibles.

14.       Too many cooks spoil the broth.

 

15.              Eleemosynary deeds have their incipience intramutually.

15.       Charity begins at home.

 

16.              Male cadavers are incapable of yielding any testimony.

16.       Dead men tell no tales.

  

17.              Individuals who make their abode in vitreous edifices would be advised to refrain from catapulting petrous projectiles.

17.       People who live in glass houses should not throw stones.

 

18.              Neophyte’s serendipity.

18.       Beginner's luck.

  

19.              Exclusive dedication to necessitous chores without interludes of hedonist diversion renders John a hebetudinous fellow.

19.       All work and no play make Jack a dull boy.

 

20.              A revolving lithic conglomerate accumulates no congeries of a small green bryophitic.

20.       A rolling stone gathers no moss.

  

21.              The person presenting the ultimate cachinnation possesses thereby the optimal cachinnation.

22.       He who laughs last, laughs best.

 

22.              Abstentation from any undertaking precludes a potential escalation of a lucrative nature.

22.       Nothing ventured; nothing gained.

  

23.              Missiles of ligneous of petrous consistency have the potential of fracturing my osseous structure, but appellations with eternally be no cause of my impairment.

23.       Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me. 

Having fun with language here is good--confusing your reader with words that "sound" intelligent is bad!  Don't be afraid to use your own voice even in the academic essays!   As long as the tone is right (not _exactly_ the way you would talk), then you're better off staying with the familiar.